If everyone can emotionally poison me,
then why can’t I physically?
What’s one more toxic thing
to take over what’s left of me?
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Too Eager
They say not to suffer in silence,
but yet when I try to speak
they are the same people
taping my mouth shut.
They are all too eager
to offer their help
but only if they decide
you actually need it.
It takes guts to come
forward an admit
that you want to die;
to lay naked for them.
But they can turn
right back around
and laugh: “No way.
You’re kidding, right?
That’s not a real problem.
Just grow the fuck up.”
On goes the tape
and here comes the silence
while the demons inside
continue to poison.
They Say, I Say
They say
“Don’t suffer in silence!”
I say
“What a crazy lie.”
They say
“I’m here for you.”
I say
“Yeah, here to judge me.”
They say
“I want to help you.”
I say
“Thanks, but no thanks.”
Fall Changes
As the air gets colder,
the world begins to change.
Bees find their wings
no longer seem to work.
Tress are stripped bare
of their only disguise,
some times for the last time.
Flowers slowly freeze
and crumble away
until they are nothing
but a victim of death.
How lucky they are
Career-Driven Woman
I wish I had the passion
and the motivation at least
to be a career-driven woman.
I mean, you would think
that after 17 years of working
towards the goal of having
a career and good life
would make me feel
successful or even happy
like everyone said it would,
but it doesn’t.
All I feel is frustration.
Frustration from following
the steps and directions
everyone gave me in hopes
that I would have the life
that everyone said I should have.
Now that I have it,
I don’t want it,
and I’m not sure I ever did.
But now I’m stuck with it
Leaves Beneath Your Feet
Sometimes the harsh crunch
of leaves beneath your feet
can make you realize
just how fragile life is.
Something once full of life
and service to give
now falls from the top
and withers away to nothing.
2066.9
2066.9
the mountain air is quite crisp
and the smell of maples and pine
fills their lungs with something brand new.
At 2066 high
where the land meets the bright blue sky
and birds dare to spread wings and soar,
where they can see everything.
At 2066 feet
two young hearts begin to beat,
for perhaps the very first time,
together as love starts to grow.
Up at 2066,
above the crunching of dry sticks,
you can hear two souls come to see
without each other, they can’t be.
Laundry
Laundry. Laundry.
Go away.
I’ll fold you
another day.
(Or maybe not.
What’s another week)
Another Day
The words are there
on the tip of my tongue,
waiting for me to say.
But every time
I get the courage,
I look the other way.
It’s killing me,
just sitting by,
postponing another day.
My biggest fear:
I’ll lose you
when you walk away.
Yet in my heart
I know you.
I think you will stay.
It’s just risky
and not a game
I’m willing to play.
So for now
I’ll wait around,
try again another day.
A Disney Movie
“Life is not a Disney Movie”
are the words an ex-boyfriend
screamed at me.
It’s part of the reason
he’s an ex and always will be.
If you don’t see me as
a princess, a priority, a future,
then there is no happy ending
for us in store
because I know I deserve
that and so much more.
