Inferior

I hate what I’ve become.

I hate how I look.

I can’t even look in the mirror.

When I see other girls

with their boys and makeup

I can’t help but feel inferior.

It’s hard to be proud

of the way that I look

when even I know I’m fat.

People can lie

and tell me I’m fine,

but there’s no truth behind any of that.

I know I’m not a ten

and I don’t want to be perfect,

but I wish I could turn just one head.

I’ve never been attractive,

but now I don’t even try.

I never want to leave my bed.

I wish I was pretty,

either inside or out,

but I’ll never be called “beautiful”.

I wish I could hide

and spare the world of my face.

For society and the world, I’m unsuitable.

 

 

 

10 thoughts on “Inferior

  1. I believe we all feel and experience your sentiments. So many times in my life, I’ve felt that I needed to be, and wanted to be, more. But maybe, just maybe, I’m just fine the way I am. Know that your clear and frank message to this environment resonates with me…and I suspect…so many others. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Disclaimer: the following statements reflect my personal opinion–not the gospel, or the “truth,” per say–just how I see things.

    Beauty is subjective. It’s also a choice. You (meaning the speaker of the poem, not necessarily the author, but the general “you”) can call yourself beautiful, and your outer appearance would be the least reason to do so. Even if you were the most gorgeous person on the planet to other people’s standards (and really, why would you live by their standards and not your own?), your inner beauty would prove deeper and longer-lasting than aesthetically pleasing features or the perfect build (again, we are conditioned to believe there is a very limited paradigm of beauty, which is frankly, utter horse manure). Good looks fade; but a good soul increases in beauty as time goes by, provided that it’s properly nurtured.

    That being said, I understand how the speaker feels, as I’ve felt insecure about my appearance on countless occasions. Reconditioning oneself to alter a societally ingrained perception of beauty takes time and dedication…but it is achievable.

    I hope more people read your poem to recognize they are not the only ones lacking self-confidence and fearing surface judgment from their peers.

    ❤ Jane

    Liked by 2 people

  3. The great irony, of course, is that beauty has absolutely NOTHING to do with your looks. Society has suggested you place that standard upon yourself – which it sounds as if you have. When the time and person is right, the person that finds you will prove that 90 percent of what you wrote above, is total bullshit but beautiful in it’s own right.

    You are lovely and wonderful just the lovely way you are.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. This is a very real poem. Unfortunately for most of us the version of ourselves we see is a distorted one and often no number of reassurances can help that. I too face a similar struggle which is why your writing really resonated with me.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I am also fat. I grew up buying the largest size for clothing and shoes every single time. But I gotta accept me, who else would? So I decided not to try to be beautiful. I don’t wanna be beautiful. I want to be smart, independent, decisive, responsible woman the world would crave for more me. I’ve had my bad days also, but I always try harder to see things brightly for me – not for anyone else. You may not find yourself beautiful but you don’t have to be. There is more to this world than being beautiful.

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s