Except for You

Nobody turned me

against you except for you.

It’s just that you were

too busy gaslighting me

and everyone else

so you could throw yourself a

pity party for one

and paint yourself the victim.

Except victims don’t

usually throw remotes

and objects at you.

Or kick you out of the house.

Or leave you on the

side of a road far from home.

They also don’t scream

until they are red in the

face and the thick veins

pulse from their forehead as they

intimidate others;

so they can feel in control.

Nobody turned me

against you except for you.

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Waiting

I’ve spent 13 years waiting for this moment

and now that it’s finally here,

I’m terrified I am going to blow it.

There are no restarts, redos, or second chances.

This is it.

It either happens or it doesn’t.

I’ve trusted my gut all this time

that it was leading me in the right direction,

but what if it was wrong?

Do I keep waiting for the right moment?

Do I keep waiting to see if

everything I’ve dreamed about

lives up to its reality?

or do I move on so that

when the shoe inevitably drops,

it hurts a little less?

Grocery Store

Lately life feels like a trip to the grocery store.

I have my shopping list

and I check off every item:

buy a car….check

get your dream job…check

find a new home….check

furnish new home…check

quit second job….check

I go through every step making sure

that my life is heading in the direction I want.

Yet I stand in the checkout line,

I feel like I have forgotten something.

I feel as though I am missing something

And by the time I remember,

it will be too late.