I’m tired of being alone,
but I’m also tired of trying.
Why am I the only one?
Why is this a one-way street?
It feels like when I reach out,
people step away from me.
Friends make excuses,
dates cancel plans,
and family tells me to go away.
I’m never enough,
no matter my intentions.
Why aren’t I good enough?
What do I have to do
to get some love around here?
SHouldn’t everyone be loved?
Why am I the exception?
When did we grow up?
When did childhood dreams
become our reality?
It feels like just yesterday
we were kids just talking
about what we wanted to do
with the rest of our lives
and now we’re adults.
We have real jobs.
We have to pay bills.
We have actual responsibilities.
Where did time go?
When did we grow up?
I can’t sleep at night.
It’s tearing me apart.
I can’t stop thinking.
I am overthinking
every little thing.
Things I should just forget,
unimportant things,
suddenly consume me.
I’m anxious about
every aspect of life-
school, love life, work, home.
Constantly running but
I just can’t keep up.
Physically I’m behind,
but mentally I’m
so far ahead that I
see it’s all pointless.
I have more papers
left this semester than I
have syllables here.
When people look at me, they just see my stretch marks.
They don’t see the 5 lives I’ve saved.
They don’t see me giving back to the community.
They don’t see me teaching young children to read.
When people look at me, all they see is my weight.
They don’t see my athletic career.
They don’t see my honors diploma.
They don’t see my kindness.
When people look at me, they just see my obesity.
They don’t see me volunteering with dogs.
They don’t see me working 3 jobs.
They don’t see who I really am
And that’s a true shame.
It’s hard to act like
I have my life together
I obviously don’t.
It’s hard to act like
I’m organized and on top of things.
I’m obviously not.
It’s hard to act like
My workload isn’t stressing me out.
It obviously is.
It’s hard to act like
I’m conquering life.
I’m obviously not.
It’s hard to act like
the simplest things don’t cause a breakdown.
They obviously do.
It’s hard to act like
things are going to get better.
It’s not so obvious.
This place is toxic.
I’ve been back for just two days
and I want to die.
This just goes to show
that a glass of wine can solve
all of my problems.
It just goes to show
that college kids will always
go out of their way
to make up a holiday
so they can spend
a whole day drinking.
Do you ever wonder,
while you’re sitting there
for long periods of time
who the heck
invented toilet paper?
Baffy Basics 