Good Wine

They say that a good wine

improves in taste the longer

you keep it in the bottle.

That means years and years

of leaving it in your cellar

just anticipating the way

those sweet grapes will taste

the second they hit your tongue.

I wonder if people are more like

good wines than they know.

I, for one, would be a champagne

bursting with overwhelming bubbles

when you finally take the cork out

but I’ll be worth every drop.

Ray of Sunshine

Sometimes I like to believe

that I am a ray of sunshine,

trying to bring light and joy

to a world that desperately needs it.

Sometimes my shine gets blocked

by a pesky little cloud

or even a dark, earth-shaking storm

but it is important to remember

that through it all,

I am still trying to shine through it.

Sometimes I have to remind myself of that too.

Birthday Wishes

Did you know that On my birthday,,

for the last nine years straight

I’ve wished for the same thing?

It’s the one thing I want,

more than anything else in the world

and I can’t have it.

But at least on my birthday,

I can feel a little extra magical

and have faith that maybe this year

it will be different.

This year, it’ll happen.

This year, my dream will come true.

But I know it’s childish to think

that blowing out a candle

can make dreams come true.

But I have to hope.

It feels like the only chance I have/

The Things You Never Noticed

The things you never noticed about me

during the “8” hours you used to see me

every single day at work:

-I pack the same meal for lunch every day

because that’s what the food bank gave me.

-I also stick around an extra hour after work

so it’s one less hour I have to be home.

-I don’t speak up for myself because

I’m used to punishment if I do.

– I never talk about my home life

because honestly? It isn’t great.

-Yes, I still live at home, you know

because I can’t leave.

Financially? Maybe I could escape

but I’ll never be free of him.

 

 

I don’t blame you for never noticing.

I never wanted to show this part of me

Because at work, I am happy and safe.

I wish it had stayed that way

 

Dear Boss

Dear boss,

I care so much for these kids,

they’re my number one priority.

They’re all our number one priorities.

I worry about them day and night,

as I am sure you do too,

but now that the dust has settled,

I have to ask (and it kills me) but

what about me?

We’re worry about the kids at home

who won’t have enough food

or be guaranteed their meals.

But what about me?

We worry about the kids at home

who need help and support

who just aren’t getting it now.

But what about me?

We worry about the kiddos at home

who have stressful circumstances

that mean success is unlikely,

but what about me?

We worry about the kids at home

who might be abused or unsafe

without trusted adults there.

But what about me?

I am a selfless person

so it pains me to be egocentric,

but we’ve done all these things

to make sure our kiddos are okay,

but what about me?

Because I’m not.

 

Your Employee.

 

 

 

 

Wine is the Best Boyfriend.

Wine is the best boyfriend.

It’s always there for you.

It puts a smile on your face.

It gets you all giddy.

It gives you a warm tingle.

It makes you laugh.

It’s supportive.

It wants to kiss your lips.

Has the ability to turn you on.

It can be sweet sometimes.

Always there for special occasions.

It will never leave you.

 

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

 

 

 

Isn’t It Funny?

Isn’t it funny how

concerned you are now that

if I go to the store,

I could catch an illness

and die,

but yet

where was this concern when

an illness was inside me

making me want to die

the last nine fucking years?

The Girl You Knew

The Girl You Knew was shattered;

in rambles; in shreds.

She needed to put herself back

into one piece again.

 

The Girl You Knew  needed help

figuring out who she was now

that everything she used to be

was gone; you took advantage.

 

The Girl You Knew was vulnerable

and let you use her how you needed,

while she broke into tiny pieces

and lost further sight of herself.

 

The Girl You Knew cared about you

and was hurt when you left.

You found ways to hurt a girl

who was already hurting deep.

 

That’s not the girl you know now.

 

The Girl You Know Now is Confident.

She’s put her life back together

and come out stronger with a life

she is proud to live by herself.

 

The Girl You Know Now is motivated.

She did what she had to do

to be a better person

and live her best life.

 

The Girl You Know Now is fierce.

She is a born leader

who helps shape the future

and the world to make it better.

 

The Girl You Know Now is caring

She is loved. She is happy.

And most important of all

she doesn’t need you.

 

 

Your Most Vulnerable

Insecurity lurks in the deepest part of you,

waiting until you are at your most vulnerable

before sinking its teeth into you.

For me, it’s when I get too comfortable;

blur the lines between my hopes and my reality.

I think If I repeat something enough,

it surely will become true with time.

That’s not always the case.

I try to love myself and make myself believe

That I am good enough and deserve to feel good

but that listen voice whispers in my ear,

when I’m at my peak; all alone:

“But actually you don’t.”

It’s poison keeps dripping, from sharp fangs.

The rolling rock gains momentum:

“You don’t deserve anything really.

You’re kidding yourself if you could ever believe

that you can ever be happy, find love, feel pleasure

because why on this earth would anyone ever choose you?”

Words can cut you worse than catching a falling blade.

You realize what you’ve done moments before

you feel the pain; see the blood.

Insecurities find ways to surprise you

and remind you that when you think you are at your strongest,

you’ve actually never been weaker.