Slave to Love

Being in love is such a freeing thing,

But only when felt by both parties.

I have no freedom to whom I love.

I am a slave to love.

It has a hold on me.

And I am stuck in my state.

I can’t love all I want,

but I won’t be free until I’m loved back

And that just won’t be happening,

Not in this lifetime.

Having You Over Was a Mistake

Having you over was a mistake.

Before you came over,

I was already depressed,

But I had at least adjusted to the numb.

Being with you again reminded me

What it’s like to be happy.

But now you are too busy for me.

My happiness isn’t important to you

And I’m falling back into the dark.

The rock bottom is harder than before.

The pain is worse now.

What you did is wrong.

You teased me with a potential

Chance of feeling better.

And then you took it away from me.

I’m destroyed now more than ever.

Having you over was a mistake.

You Can’t Do This to Me

You can’t do this to me.

You can’t keep running

In and out of my life

When I need you the most.

I’m vulnerable. I’m fragile.

I’m physically falling apart.

I’m already emotionally broken.

You can’t act like you’re

Going to make everything better

But then never come around.

I already feel ignored

By everyone in my life.

Now it feels like

You’re abandoning me too.

 

My Drug

 

It’s my drug

and I’m addicted.

It is my only escape.

I need it.

I can get it,

With just the wave of my hand.

Just a touch,

That isn’t special

Is what I need to stay alive.

I use it.

I abuse it.

It’s how I’ve learned to survive.

Sex is my weapon

Of protection

That I use to forget.

Memories

And the flashbacks

Are temporarily forgotten.

The release

Is the relief

My tortured mind needs.

I’m broken.

Can’t be saved.

My drug is keeping me alive.

 

I Can’t Go Back

I can’t go back.

I can’t go through that again.

You said I was fine,

Just an attention whore.

I’d be fine eventually.

I’d get over myself.

 

I can’t go back.

I need the help,

But you said I didn’t.

I can’t be rejected again.

It took a lot of courage

To say the truth,

To admit I wasn’t okay,

And you said it was an act.

 

I can’t go back

and be told the same thing.

I’m even more afraid now

That my cries will be ignored again.