Cold and Bitter

Summer rays of light

brown my pale skin

that has been hidden inside

for 3 long months

as I hide from dangers

that were out of my control.

As I lay in the damp grass,

using my mind to persuade

spiders to not crawl across

my oily, burning legs,

I can’t help but wonder

which side to lay on

to let the sun’s heat

to warm up my soul

because I’m afraid

too much pain

has made me cold and bitter.

I’m afraid that combo

is only desirable

in a Starbucks

freshly iced coffee,

not in a soulmate,