When I was in the eighth grade,
you made it quite clear
that I was not YOUR child
when you kicked my mother,
my brother and I
out of the house after an argument.
You broke the drawer off,
the one with knives,
in your fury.
I thought you were going to kill her
right in front of me.
You pinned her to the wall
and spat on her face
as you belittled her
and screamed at her
for some stupid little reason.
You told her to take HER kids
and get out.
I wasn’t even allowed
to get my shoes. Or a coat.
We sat in the car
in the driveway
to a house where I grew up
and cried. And cried.
We did not know where to go.
I told my mother to divorce you.
I told we could move in with grandma.
I told her we could come to get our things
once he was at work tomorrow.
She didn’t listen.
I wish she had
because now I am just as damaged.
You welcomed us back
and acted as though nothing was wrong;
that nothing had happened.
You pretended that everything
was the same as always.
But I know better because
the kitchen drawer doesn’t have a handle