Most Lonely Feeling of All

This time of year is always hard for me.

I see everyone around me in love

and more than anything I wish I could be.

I can’t even walk in a Walmart for

at least another two weeks, minimum,

because to see all of those shelves full of

trinkets that to show how much you care

remind me how little no one in my life does.

I’m not saying that a $5 stuffed animal

or a stale heart box of chocolates

measures how much some one loves you,

but when you have none of those things,

it makes it glaringly obvious to all

that I have not a person in my life

that was even willing to give it a try

and that it the most lonely feeling of all.



It makes my heart so sad

to hear all these girls talk

about what they want

(and will probably get)

for valentines day.

They want flowers

and cards

and chocolates

and candies

and teddy bears

and big gestures

and I am insanely jealous.

Not of the things they’ll get,

because stupid trinkets

from an aisle at Walmart

don’t interest me.

I envy their status;

their position;

the fact that they are

in a place where they can

have and set expectations

such as these meaningless items

because all I want

are three short words

but I will never hear them.

Instead, I’ll get three different words instead:

you’re not enough.


And I never will be.

Dawning Day

These days, I seem to be falling apart.

My leg, my arm, and now my heart.

Just when everything seems to fall in place,

It explodes right up in your face.

You think that you have it all,

But you’ve really been set up to fall.

It feels like the world has come to an end,

But I realize my wounds will mend.

I’ll stand up and be on my way,

Going forward into the dawning day.

In Bliss

To read my book, I begin
As the sun warms my pale skin.
Surrounded by just blue sky.
Not a single cloud goes by.
My blanket is on the hill.
The wind blows, I get a chill.
A stick is poking my ass.
Flowers sprout up from the grass.
Squirrels in trees are calling.
Bugs on the ground are crawling.
Boys play soccer in the field.
Planes fly by from our airfield.
Hammocks hang between trees.
Frisbees floating on the breeze.
Friends are gathered for picnics.
Let’s forget the politics.
Take some time to enjoy this;
Spend time living in bliss.