Have you ever had to cover
your mirror with a blanket
because you feel so insecure
that even a quick glimpse
of the monster that you are
on your way to the toilet
is enough to make you
understand why no one
wants to love you?
Or is it just me?
Version of Me
They say that I’m more positive now,
that’s what the world wants to see.
But the truth is that I’m still broken,
but no one likes that version of me.
Oblivion
You are essential.
A main character
in the plot of my life.
You dominate my thoughts
and you are by far
a fundamental part
of be entire being.
You are critical to
my lasting survival
and resuscitate my dreams
by breathing life back in.
The significance you play
in my day to day life
confounds me always.
Yet with you I seem
to fall into oblivion
Shadows
I would like to tell you
that I live my life
free of darkness these days,
but the truth of the matter is
that where there is sunshine,
there must be shadows.
Bandaid
I put on a bandaid,
knowing it won’t be enough
to stop the bleeding.
But I tell myself
it’s only temporary.
It just has to last long enough
for me to find something better.
Surely there’s some glaze somewhere
at the back of the cabinet,
just waiting for me to find it.
Except, I forget to keep looking
for something more durable
until I realize the bandaid is gone.
So I put on another one.
and another one.
and another one.
And now the box is empty.
What do I do now?
The Worst Part
Sometimes the worst part about being depressed
isn’t not having the energy to get out of bed for two days
or realizing you haven’t eatten a real meal in 3
or resorting to bad habits and addictions
or considering unhealthy habits that will only hurt you
or finding a dozen more reasons to hate yourself.
Sometimes. it’s wanting to tell the person you trust most
and not being able to for fear of being ignored again.
Apparently Lost
Apparently, my landlord found my wallet
and called to inform me he found it.
He found it two days ago.
I didn’t even know it was gone.
I guess while your finding things
that I apparently lost,
could you also locate
my will to live?
Look in the Mirror
Look in the mirror
and what do I see?
All the reasons
no one will ever
want to love me.
My chin is round.
My face is lumpy.
My fat rolls make
me far to bumpy.
My lips are chap.
My teeth are not straight.
Is it really a wonder
I’ll never find a date?
My image is too wide.
My arms have fat that flaps.
I waddle, not walk,
each step my thigh claps.
My stomach is attrocious.
My legs have no appeal.
I’m going to die alone.
I’m only being real.
Amaze me
It never ceases to amaze me
that there are people in the world
that don’t have to stay up
until 3 in the morning
crying into the darkness
wondering if anyone will ever love them
because to me it just a part
of my nightly routine.
365 Chances
There are 365 days in a year
which means I’ve 365 chances
to get someone to fall in love with me
but once again I’m empty-handed;
a failure in society’s eyes.
Yet another year to go by
wondering why I’m unlovable;
not go enough for anyone
let alone THE one.
Another holiday to be sent
tortured with the concept that
It will always be like this for me:
alone and depressing.
On the bright side,
the wine industry is about to take all my money.
Not like I have anyone else to spend it on.
Baffy Basics 