You are essential.

A main character

in the plot of my life.

You dominate my thoughts

and you are by far

a fundamental part

of be entire being.

You are critical to

my lasting survival

and resuscitate my dreams

by breathing life back in.

The significance you play

in my day to day life

confounds me always.

Yet with you I seem

to fall into oblivion



I put on a bandaid,

knowing it won’t be enough

to stop the bleeding.

But I tell myself

it’s only temporary.

It just has to last long enough

for me to find something better.

Surely there’s some glaze somewhere

at the back of the cabinet,

just waiting for me to find it.

Except, I forget to keep looking

for something more durable

until I realize the bandaid is gone.

So I put on another one.

and another one.

and another one.

And now the box is empty.

What do I do now?

The Worst Part

Sometimes the worst part about being depressed

isn’t not having the energy to get out of bed for two days

or realizing you haven’t eatten a real meal in 3

or resorting to bad habits and addictions

or considering unhealthy habits that will only hurt you

or finding a dozen more reasons to hate yourself.

Sometimes. it’s wanting to tell the person you trust most

and not being able to for fear of being ignored again.

Look in the Mirror

Look in the mirror

and what do I see?

All the reasons

no one will ever

want to love me.

My chin is round.

My face is lumpy.

My fat rolls make

me far to bumpy.

My lips are chap.

My teeth are not straight.

Is it really a wonder

I’ll never find a date?

My image is too wide.

My arms have fat that flaps.

I waddle, not walk,

each step my thigh claps.

My stomach is attrocious.

My legs have no appeal.

I’m going to die alone.

I’m only being real.


365 Chances

There are 365 days in a year

which means I’ve 365 chances

to get someone to fall in love with me

but once again I’m empty-handed;

a failure in society’s eyes.

Yet another year to go by

wondering why I’m unlovable;

not go enough for anyone

let alone THE one.

Another holiday to be sent

tortured with the concept that

It will always be like this for me:

alone and depressing.

On the bright side,

the wine industry is about to take all my money.

Not like I have anyone else to spend it on.