Consumed

Well, it happened. It has finally won.

The darkness that I have worked

so hard to fend off over the years

has finally consumed me.

All the smiles you gave me

that shone a light to frighten them off

are now ancient history.

I know there will never be another

time a look from you will make me happy

because I know.

I know that you don’t think I’m special

and that I’m not good enough.

I may go through the same motions as her

but you will never love me.

That thought has forever darkened my soul

and I am just a hollow shell

that the darkness has filled.

I won’t bother struggling anymore

since I know there isn’t a happy ending

waiting for me on the other side anymore.

It has won and I’ll never be the same.

 

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Can’t Forget

I don’t want to remember,

But I can’t forget

All those awful things you did

That ruined my life.

 

It pains me to remember,

But I can’t forget.

Panic attacks are common

When thoughts reappear.

 

It’s burned into my memory

So I can’t forget.

No matter how hard I try,

I can’t change the past.

 

I try not to remember,

But I can’t forget.

Never will I be at peace.

You have destroyed me.