The wind howling and banging
against the sides of this house
is enough to distract me
so that I forget that if
life was fair, I’d be packing
for a trip I was meant to
go on a week from today.
Resentment
What is life but a huge disappointment?
You make dreams that don’t come true
which fills you with resentment.
Even you begin to hate you
for not being able to follow your dreams.
Trinkets
It makes my heart so sad
to hear all these girls talk
about what they want
(and will probably get)
for valentines day.
They want flowers
and cards
and chocolates
and candies
and teddy bears
and big gestures
and I am insanely jealous.
Not of the things they’ll get,
because stupid trinkets
from an aisle at Walmart
don’t interest me.
I envy their status;
their position;
the fact that they are
in a place where they can
have and set expectations
such as these meaningless items
because all I want
are three short words
but I will never hear them.
Instead, I’ll get three different words instead:
you’re not enough.
And I never will be.
Disappointment
All I ever am
is a huge disappointment.
Can’t do one thing right.
Settling for Less
Dating anyone but you
would mean I’m settling.
How do I convince myself
that I’m actually worth less?
How do I tell myself
that I don’t deserve
everything I thought that I
could ever want in life?
How do I tell myself that
I can be happy with
someone who has less to offer?
How do I live with myself?
How do I keep going
when I know what’s waiting
for me down the road
is just disappointment?
No one can ever compare.
You’re the gold medal.
Everyone else just feels like
a participation trophy.
