I hold my breath as the last sliver
of daylight burns into nothing
as the sun sets behind the horizon.
The anticipation of having been
so mesmerized, enchanted, consumed
and now the realization
that I’m not sure what to expect next.
That is how it feels when I find
your eyes are as entranced with me
as I am with yourself.
Things used to be
as simple as
telling someone
you liked them
on the playground
and they would say
they liked you too.
Poof!
Instant relationship.
Being an adult
is so much harder.
There’s many factors
to consider,
people’s feelings
to interpret,
and endless actions
to overthink about.
When did things
get so complicated?
Can’t we go back to
when life was simple
and our hearts were
invincible?
Loving you feels like I am
waiting at a red light
at the top of a big hill,
putting all my strength
into pressing my break pedal
into the floor board
to stop myself from rolling
forward, even the tiniest bit
because I know that as soon
as I start rolling,
I’ll have so much momentum
I won’t be able to stop
and if I am going to go
racing full speed ahead
into my feelings for you,
I want to know that I’m
not going to crash and burn
once I reach the bottom.
I will wait for the days to get warm.
I will wait for the leaves to grow.
I will wait for the flowers to bloom.
I will wait for the storms to go
I will wait for the longer evenings.
I will wait for school to end.
I will wait for the changing weather
and of course I will wait for you too, friend.
It should be you
walking in my door,
eyes lighting up
when they set on me.
It should be you
kissing my forehead,
calling me a cutie,
making me smile.
It should be you
with your arm around me,
pulling me into you
as we snuggle on my couch.
It should be you
running your fingers
through my hair with
my head on your lap.
It should be you
looking into my eyes,
making my heart race,
giving me butterflies.
It should be you…
It should be you.
My feeling for you
are as persistent as
the buzz of a nearby
bumblebee.
Harmless? Sure.
Ignorable? No.
Try as I might
to just leave them be,
my attention is drawn
to what is lurking
just outside of
my bubble.
As much as I want
to leave it be,
I just have an
insatiable desire
to become obsessed
with such a little thing.
Not all “I love you”s sound the same.
Some people may say
” I love you”
“Drive safely”
“Be Careful”
“Be Safe,
Stay out of jail,
Don’t do drugs”.
Some just say “Ditto”
or “You too”.
It sounds different
but it’s all the same.
My whole life feels like
I am driving home
from the bank that is
just a mile from my home.
I go there all the time,
but I’m in a rush today so
I take a different route.
I’m now lost in some place,
a neighborhood I don’t know,
turning again and again
down roads never seen.
I told myself keep going
but now I’m stuck in
an unfamiliar place
and I have no idea how I got here
and I don’t have the energy
to try and get out again.
My love for you at times
feels as though I am
wandering aimlessly
through the desert:
lost, confused, desperate.
So many times I will
find myself dreaming of
your lips-my oasis
just waiting to quench
my never ending thirst
to be close to you.
And everyone once in awhile
I convince myself that
you have feelings for me too.
But I have been on this
tireless journey for so many years,
I have to stop and wonder;
Are they just a mirage?
Even when I can’t see you
as we talk on our phone calls,
I have known you long enough
to be able to tell when
-you’re smiling at my voice
after it’s been a long while
-you are blushing from my praise
(deserved because you’re awesome)
-your eyebrows raise from surprise
as I spill the tea from work.
-your nervous energy is
obvious as you fidget
-you’re hiding giggles as I
flirt unashamed with you
-you’re smirking as you try to
stop bantering back with me
Just know that when you think that
I can’t see you- Oh I do
Because I love all the quirks
and things that you do that make
you You.
Baffy Basics 