You are essential.
A main character
in the plot of my life.
You dominate my thoughts
and you are by far
a fundamental part
of be entire being.
You are critical to
my lasting survival
and resuscitate my dreams
by breathing life back in.
The significance you play
in my day to day life
confounds me always.
Yet with you I seem
to fall into oblivion
It is dangerous to dream
bigger than the moment
you are already living.
It may be easy to dream
of long white curtains
billowing in a warm breeze
or a four-poster bed with
soft pink petals scattered
across bright, white sheets
that are as fresh and as pure as you;
maybe later you’ll be tangled in them
as you watch the sunset
over the ocean out your window
with the love of your life
shortly after you dedicated
your lives to be spent with each other.
Seems simple enough of a dream,
But that can be ripped from you
long before you ever get close
to touching that dream.
So dream simply of small things
like your first margarita
because the odds of someone
shoving that down your throat
against your will
is a lot less likely than other things…
take it from me.
It’s much easier to do the leaving
than to be the left behind.
While you are all off to do
all new things
in all new places
with all new people,
I’m left with the same life
I’ve lived for many years before
except it’s different now
because you’re not here
to experience it with me.
Not a lot of exciting things happen to me
that you haven’t heard of lived before
but I get to hear all your exciting
stories from around the country
and realize how stuck I really am.
I’m glad my friends get to go on
such exciting adventures, I am.
But sometimes they don’t realize
that in the wake of their new experiences
I am left behind with no one
to do something as simple as
get a coffee with
because my closest best friend
is at now four hours away
and that makes life very lonely.
It makes my heart so sad
to hear all these girls talk
about what they want
(and will probably get)
for valentines day.
They want flowers
and cards
and chocolates
and candies
and teddy bears
and big gestures
and I am insanely jealous.
Not of the things they’ll get,
because stupid trinkets
from an aisle at Walmart
don’t interest me.
I envy their status;
their position;
the fact that they are
in a place where they can
have and set expectations
such as these meaningless items
because all I want
are three short words
but I will never hear them.
Instead, I’ll get three different words instead:
you’re not enough.
And I never will be.
When I was younger,
many years ago,
I found a perfect boy
and I was delighted.
But now here I am,
many years later,
crying over a love
that is unrequited.
Baffy Basics 