Every Mile Between Us

After a twelve hour drive

I could truly feel

every mile between us.

Leaving was already hard,

but feeling myself get

further and further from you

hurt more than I ever

thought it would; thought it could.

700 miles doesn’t feel that far

until you actually travel it

and have to race away

putting every mile between us.

Before my trip,

the distance was but nothing

but now 700 miles feels

impossibly far away.

And far as it feels,

at least distance is measurable.

The real pain comes from

how far into time it will be

until I see you again.

Because that is something

that I just don’t know.

 

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Holiday Feels

Nothing quite brings out the “Holiday Feels”

like being the only single one at the table.

Nothing reminds me of the hurt

filling my empty heart

like seeing the love and joy that fills many others.

Nothing brings me such pain

as dreaded questions and comments like

“Why didn’t you bring someone?” or

“Oh, well there’s always next year”.

Nothing brings me such envy

as seeing kisses and tenderness

that I can only imagine in dreams

Nothing brings me the “Holiday Feels”

like being subjected to time with family.

No one

“It’s just a joke. It’s a game”

I say to hide my shame.

No one takes me serious.

 

“I was kidding, didn’t mean it”

I say to them to deny it.

No one realizes I struggle.

 

“I’m sorry I was offensive”

I say when I’m defensive.

No one can see my battles.

 

” I’ll just stop talking now,”

I say to try to describe how

I feel, because no one understands.

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