It’s hard to act like

I have my life together

I obviously don’t.


It’s hard to act like

I’m organized and on top of things.

I’m obviously not.


It’s hard to act like

My workload isn’t stressing me out.

It obviously is.


It’s hard to act like

I’m conquering life.

I’m obviously not.


It’s hard to act like

the simplest things don’t cause a breakdown.

They obviously do.


It’s hard to act like

things are going to get better.

It’s not so obvious.

Don’t Miss the View

When I’m up this high,

everything is different.

Life in the mountains

is vivid and  brand new.

When I’m at the top

I almost touch the sky.

For once looking down,

is encouraged here so

you don’t miss the view

that is in front of you.

From here on out I

will always be looking

up and trying to

remember this feeling.

I feel so alive

and like I will conquer

what is thrown my way.

My perspective is fresh.

I’m a new person.

I’m on the top of the world.

My world is different.

Everything has changed.

I found myself here.

I’m never coming down.

Nobody There

Three years.

That’s how long it took

for me to work up the courage

to call counseling services

to try to get myself help

and there was nobody there.


I’ll never call again.

I’ll never get better.

All because the one time

I conquered my anxiety

and tried to reach out

to find nobody there.

Ethan Lee

Last night I had a dream.

I dreamt our future son.

He was four months old

And he had hair of gold.

Absolutely precious.


He had my grey-blue eyes

and your contagious smile.

His giggle warmed my heart.

He was a work of art.

He was just perfection.


I watched him grow older,

His life flashed before me.

What a smart little tike,

Learned how to ride a bike.

We were right beside him.


He did well in school and

His teachers adored him.

He could do anything,

Was good at everything.

He made his parents proud.


He walked across the stage,

With our eyes full of pride.

It filled me with such joy

To watch our little boy

Grow up to be a man.


But I had to wake up

And my heart was broken.

The joy had disappeared.

I cried since I feared

He will never exist.




I Can’t.

I keep telling people

I can’t keep doing this.

They tell me that I can,

But they just aren’t listening.

They don’t understand.

They don’t take me seriously.

I’m not joking around.

I literally cannot take any more.

I can’t hold anything else in.

I’m done.

I’m not just on the edge anymore.

I already let go.

I already decided to jump off the bridge

Because nobody told me to stop.