As I watched the water in the vortex ripple,
I saw a young woman suck a fat man’s nipple.
*This is a true story from work on Saturday. Sometimes being a lifeguard is rough*
December Work
Work may be slow now,
But it’s 80 degrees there
so I don’t mind much.
___________________________________
Perks of a lifeguard:
I can pretend it’s summer.
I get free coffee.
Lifeguard Problems
Oh look.
The kids are running
…again.
And that one
Over by the stairs
Seems to think he’s Michael Phelps.
He’s not.
He’s 5 years old
And not a parent in sight.
The boys over there
Have made a new game.
It appears the only rule
is to annoy me.
Fantastic.
The girl over there
Is eating on the pool deck.
Nothing I love more
Than cleaning up soggy teddy grams
Before I can leave.
Oh and “Mr. Phelps” decided
To test the waters.
He can’t touch.
Looks like I’m going in.
Saved his life.
Spend next 10 minutes
Locating mom for paperwork.
She is bitching me out.
For saving her son.
“He can swim,” she says.
Apparently not.
I leave it to the manager.
It’s time for my break.
A girl just puked.
In the pool.
Now I’m cleaning.
This is gross.
This is terrible.
Is it August yet?
Baffy Basics 