This is a poem I had to write for one of my college courses. My professor gave me a 10/10 and said it had her laughing out loud. It got high reviews in other words. Enjoy.
Welcome to the 440, the 216.
Parma, Ohio is where I get my kicks.
We’re just outside Cleveland, so we’re often overlooked,
But once you learn about my hometown, you’ll be hooked.
I’m American and white, as is much of our town,
But that changes a bit the closer you get to downtown.
We’re named after Italy, which I don’t understand *
Since our city colors are those of Poland.
We’re in the snow belt, so that can be a pain,
But go find your way down to our little Ukraine.
If that’s not your style, head over to CVNP.
Cuyahoga Valley is a park with lots to see.
In Parma Ohio, we don’t do much.
We don’t farm here now, but we make cars and such. *
I mean we have Stearns Homestead but that’s not the same.
It’s an overrated petting zoo. It’s pretty lame.
Bigger than Youngstown, we’re seventh largest in the state.
With 80.000 people Olive Garden always has a wait.
In 1816 the first settlers moved in.
The first building built was a tavern and an inn.
Just a clearing in the woods, people were focused on surviving.
By 1819, business was thriving.
In 1826 the settlers finally decided to choose a name.
There was Greenbrier and Briar hill, but Parma won the game.
Between 1840 and 1911, there isn’t much to say,
But in 1912, Parma Heights, 300 people, didn’t want to stay.
In 1924, we were just a humble village,
A place to house the Cleveland population spillage.
After World War two, Parma began to grow.
People continued to move here despite that awful snow.
1930 the population was a surprise.
Parma, Ohio had grown five times in size. **
The population was booming, which meant more schools.
We ended up with 25 and even 4 pools.
In 1998, my parents made the move.
They just had a baby, life needed to improve.
I was the baby, just thirteen months old
When we moved into the house with the sign that said sold.
I lived my life there until I came to Kent.
When we’re on breaks, that’s where my time is spent.
I visit my family, we’re a family of four,
We’re from Italy, England, Holland and more.
Since we’re so close to Cleveland, that’s where many citizens work.
Accidents and slow-moving traffic are another wonderful perk.
My father works in Berea, which is the city next to us.
If he wanted to, he could just take the bus.
My mother works in Solon, which is quite a drive.
She often isn’t home before the hour of five.
My mom schedules doctors and my dad works at a children’s home.
I work as a lifeguard while my brother just stays at home.
My parents pay the bills and put food on the table.
I save up my money so to go to school I am able.
I believe we’re a low-income household,
Barely above poverty is what I’m told.
We make do with what we have and have enough to get by.
We get help from our community and the things they can supply.
People work at the plant or work for our schools.
We have police officers who help enforce the rules.
During my summers, I work at a pool
In order to make money for school.
In 2012, a few years back.
A special guest put our whole town out of whack.
We got a visit from President Obama
Which elicited excitement from my momma.
He spoke in the park, with the pool where I work.
So secret services searched us and went berserk.
We were closed the day he came and spoke in the gazebo next door
And when he was done, there was a parade around four.
We lined up in the streets to watch him drive past
His long black limo went by fast.
When November came, so did his reelection.
My parents were proud of their voting selection.
At the time I was too young, but he was my choice.
When I turned eighteen, I made sure to use my voice.
Parma, Parma. Did someone say pierogis?
Once you have homemade ones you’ll never settle for hoagies.
In our town, there are lots of ma and pop shops.
If you come to visit, you’ll be making lots of stops.
In Parma and around there are many churches,
If you need something specific, check some google searches.
There’s plenty of places to go
Just between Ridge and Snow.
Personally, we’re Catholic. We go to Holy Family.
Our attendance isn’t often. In fact, it’s quite randomly.
Parma is a portion of Cuyahoga County
Which means on Mondays we can get into the zoo for free.
If you have a sense of humor, come find the Hot Dog Diner.
I’ve never seen such slogans inappropriate and finer.
We also have B.A. Sweetie’s, a giant candy store.
It has candy, ice cream, Butterbeer and so much more.
Parma can be kind of boring, but don’t let that get you down.
It’s just a short drive from Cleveland’s downtown.
Most of Parma speaks in English, but there is also variety.
There’s Ukrainian and Polish; we’re a mixed society.
Being close to Cleveland, sports quite a big deal.
Even though we suck, there’s a lot of pride we feel.
Personally, I like the Indians, but that’s about it.
See I don’t like basketball and the Browns play like shit.
We have a lot of concerts and musicians come around.
Home of Rock and Roll, It’s a part of our sound.
Then again, so is Polka, which I guess is kind of neat.
You’ll hear it blasting from the cars as you’re driving down the street.
Parma gets a bad rep when we end up in the news.
But when it comes to stories we don’t get to choose.
It’s weird to find bodies behind Toys R Us ***
And stabbings usually cause a fuss.
This reputation goes back to Big Chuck and Little John
Who made fun of us and the ornaments on our lawn.
This happened in the 60’ when flamingos went out of style,
But it will always be our thing and that will make me smile.