Consumed

Well, it happened. It has finally won.

The darkness that I have worked

so hard to fend off over the years

has finally consumed me.

All the smiles you gave me

that shone a light to frighten them off

are now ancient history.

I know there will never be another

time a look from you will make me happy

because I know.

I know that you don’t think I’m special

and that I’m not good enough.

I may go through the same motions as her

but you will never love me.

That thought has forever darkened my soul

and I am just a hollow shell

that the darkness has filled.

I won’t bother struggling anymore

since I know there isn’t a happy ending

waiting for me on the other side anymore.

It has won and I’ll never be the same.

 

Dull Gray

The snow drifts down from clouds of  dull gray,

but they’re not as gray as I feel today.

It’s frigid cold and I can’t feel my thumb,

but it can’t chill me. I’m already numb.

The flakes wander down in an unclear path,

Like me, while struggling through the aftermath.

When they reach the ground, they melt to their end.

There is nothing left for them; don’t pretend.

I too am at the end of my journey.

Do not save me; I don’t want a gurney.

 

No Regrets.

Rain has been sliding down the windowsill all day,

yet not a single tear has found its way down my face.

I’m too numb and too lost to understand what happened.

My biggest dream in life is gone now and so am I.

It turns out that happiness just wasn’t in the cards.

My one and only hope that life would improve someday

has just been thrown out the window and is gone for good.

I’ve been clinging to this hope since I was in high school.

That little thought at times was my only will to live.

Now I just don’t know what I’ll do from here. Maybe die?

I know my soul did today. Now it’s time to catch up.

Nothing to hold me back anymore. I’ve no regrets.