I put on a bandaid,
knowing it won’t be enough
to stop the bleeding.
But I tell myself
it’s only temporary.
It just has to last long enough
for me to find something better.
Surely there’s some glaze somewhere
at the back of the cabinet,
just waiting for me to find it.
Except, I forget to keep looking
for something more durable
until I realize the bandaid is gone.
So I put on another one.
and another one.
and another one.
And now the box is empty.
What do I do now?
Why aren’t I enough?
Is it because my elbows are too dry
or because my fingers are too short?
Is it the minor scar above my right eye
or because my acne rivals a high schooler?
Is because little toe is double-jointed?
or because my feet are as cracked as fresh brownies?
Is it because of the minor overbite
or that my lips chap no matter how often I reapply?
Is it that my belly button is an innie?
or that the rest of my belly is an outie?
Is it because I forgot to shave the back of my knees
or because I’m too insecure to get a wax?
Is it because I have the dreaded cankles
or because I dare to wear shorts in public?
Is it because I have stretch marks
or is it because my tan marks reflect my confidence that day?
Is it because my boobs might actually be too big
or because they get in the way when I hug?
Is It because I took the time to make al list
or because I’m still not good enough?
I know that many believe that
the only one with a touch
and the ability to stop
a boat from rocking in the midst
of storms and tempests is God,
but I know that your touch
and your simple gestures
is enough to make my world stop
for just a short while
until I find my bearings again.
I want to scream from the mountains
how much I love you right now,
only there are no mountains
and there’s no you
so I guess I’ll keep my comments
to myself. As always.
I am a comet.
Science tells you exactly what I am
and where I am going.
The predict just how close I will come
to colliding with the earth.
2.4 million miles to be exact.
It seems pretty far away
when looking at the big picture.
I suppose 145 feet seems far away too
until something hurtles towards the earth from it.
When sunflowers are young,
they face towards the sun
and follow it throughout the day.
Even on cloudy days,
they move their blooms,
searching for sunshine.
When I was young,
I faced the sun.
and looked to it for happiness.
I had many cloudy days,
where I couldn’t find sunshine,
but I found you instead.
Sometimes when you are at
a fork in the road of life,
you choose the wrong path.
Of course at the time,
you don’t know this
(Or maybe you do,
I’m not one to judge).
It’s usually much later
when its way too late to go back
and you’ve done irreversible damage
that you stop and think
“Well shit. I’ve really done it now.”
Sometimes you get fortunate
and can tread you own, new path
to avoid the problems
that you almost walked into.
However, you can’t expect a
“T” intersection to appear
and magically take you back
to what could have once been.
Sometimes you have to accept
that your life has changed
and you can’t have your dreams.
You have to make new ones.
And yeah….it fucking sucks.
Life is trying to listen to music
to drown out feelings
in the middle of the thunderstorm.
AS the storm gets closer and louder
you turn up the music
to try and drown it out.
It isn’t necessarily safe
and may make you feel better,
for the time being.
But in the end, you know,
the storm will end and so will the song.
so where does that leave you?
I am kinder than most. Lots of people are kind, You are not special.
I am Positive.
yeah. Positively worthless.
I am optimistic.
Why? What’s good in your life?
I am supportive.
You can help everyone but yourself. Ironic.
I am compassionate.
Too bad no one wants you to love them
I am caring.
Nobody needs you to care about them.
I am helpful.
Not really. You just mess things up.
I am friendly.
Too friendly. No one wants you around.
I am different.
Is that supposed to be a good thing.
I am independent.
That’s the same thing as lonely right?
I am trying?
Why bother? Just give up.It’ll never be enough.
You make me feel like a million dollars,
far more than I deserve.
You made me find my worth,
I am valuable.
But no one can afford me but you.
And what’s a million dollars to someone worth billions?
I’ll never be enough to come close
to all that you deserve.