Reality Check

Reality Check:

Life’s a dick

and you’re only kidding yourself

if you think locking yourself

inside your house will

keep the bad things from happening to you.

It may keep out a stupid virus,

but far worse things can happen

when you put somewhere

you feel too comfortable.

Trust me I know.

4 walls can keep out a lot,

but they also hold a lot in.

Inconsolable

One of the worse parts of anxiety

is the irrational worries and fears

it puts in my head.

Or maybe it’s the hours spent up at night,

lying in bed crying,

where I whisper to myself that it’s not real.

they’ll never happen.

Just keep pushing past them.

But what am I supposed to do

when one of those fear turns out to be true?

The pain going through my being

is inconsolable.

How do I tell myself that nightmares

are not real when they become reality?

Escape into My Dreams

Sometimes,

when I’m up late

and I need to

come up with

a dream so I can

stop crying and

maybe get some

much needed sleep,

I dream of what

it would be like

to marry young

and finally be

able to escape

this hellhole

and never have

to look back again.

Could it really

be so easy?

Is that the price

of my freedom?

If so, I don’t think

dreams and reality

operate on the

same currency.

It’s Over

It’s over.

The happy, carefree week of joy

has come to an end.

I’ve been transported back from

warm, sunny days full of smiles

and memories I’ll forever cherish

back to the cold, dreary world

I’ve spent years trying to escape.

As the half-frozen rains

and bone-chillingĀ breezes

greet my face when I step out the door,

I recall the satisfaction

I had just days before

and remembering vacation reminds me that

it’s over.