Hurricane

I’ve never been one to mind a little rain.

Everything needs a little water to grow.

It’s when the hurricanes hit that I begin to quake.

A little rain won’t hurt they say,

but what do you do when you’re drowning?

Drowning in despair, emotions, thoughts

with no idea when or why the storm had to strike now.

Maybe you’ll get some false hope

in an eye of the storm where

you’ll let yourself believe

that it can get better; it will get better

only to be hit by the other half of the storm,

far more furious than the last.

All you can do is bunker down and stay inside,

hoping that this storm won’t be your last.

But that’s hard to do when you know at the end,

when the sun decides to make a reappearance,

you’ll be faced with the devastation and despair

that came from the havoc and furry of the beast.

It’s hard to let yourself rebuild everything up

when you know that at any moment

another hurricane could strike and tear you right back down.

I’d like to believe that horrible cyclones are few and far between,

but I’m more realistic than that.

Whether I intended to or not, I have to realize

that my life has set its roots on the coastline

and I am forever destined to keep being hit

by bad hurricanes over and over

and the only way out is to either succumb

or get my shit together and move out,

but that’s a lot more strength than you’ll find

behind these batters doors .

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Some Days

I don’t like the way I look,

for there is very little I can do to change it.

Believe me, I’ve tried many times.

I eat healthily, gain weight.

I go to the gym four times a week, pants don’t fit.

I do the expensive programs and the result?

my wallet slimmer, not me.

I do what I can to accept this is who I am though.

I’ll just always be a big girl.

It is what it is.

However, some days this is harder than others.

Like yesterday when I was getting dressed

and I found a new stretch mark.

I went back to bed and cried for three hours.

Why can’t I be someone else?

 

Why Don’t You Love Me?

Why don’t you love me?

I’ve done everything you’e asked of me.

I’ve spent years adapting myself

to be someone you could be proud of.

I work hard to be what you want

but why aren’t I good enough?

What am I doing wrong?

Why don’t I deserve your love?

Please tell me. I just can’t take it.

I need an answer. I’m tired of crying.

I know I’m not perfect

yet I always strive to be

for you, not myself.

I want you to look at me .

I want you to see me,

the person in front of you,

as someone you want to be close to.

But no matter who tells you

to open your eyes and see

what me for what I am,

you always choose to look away.

Why? Wy is so hard to aapreciate me.

I just don’t understand.

Why don’t you love me.

Pure Stone

*this is a poem I wrote during high school. Unfortunately, it’s still pretty relatable for me.*

 

The depression inside won’t leave

Death will not come, so I still breathe.

I am weak; I don’t wish to fight.

On the inside, nothing is right.

Heart is so broken; life is bleak

Don’t know if I’ll make it a week.

It seems every night grows longer.

The pain within me grows stronger.

At night all I can do is cry.

Every day I just live a lie.

I can’t fake anymore smiles.

I cannot run any more miles.

Can’t live another day alone

Wish my heart was made of pure stone.

With no more feelings of distress

And nothing left to confess

The Sun

 

The sun is shining,

No brighter than usual.

It’s just its normal self,

Doing what it always does,

But it’s efforts are useless.

The sky is covered

By thick grey clouds,

So no light can get through.

But just because

I cannot see it

Does not mean that

It isn’t there.

I just can’t feel it.

It’s just like hope.

It’s trying to

Make it’s way to me.

But it doesn’t matter

How hard it tries.

It won’t break through

My thick barrier.

Ethan Lee

Last night I had a dream.

I dreamt our future son.

He was four months old

And he had hair of gold.

Absolutely precious.

 

He had my grey-blue eyes

and your contagious smile.

His giggle warmed my heart.

He was a work of art.

He was just perfection.

 

I watched him grow older,

His life flashed before me.

What a smart little tike,

Learned how to ride a bike.

We were right beside him.

 

He did well in school and

His teachers adored him.

He could do anything,

Was good at everything.

He made his parents proud.

 

He walked across the stage,

With our eyes full of pride.

It filled me with such joy

To watch our little boy

Grow up to be a man.

 

But I had to wake up

And my heart was broken.

The joy had disappeared.

I cried since I feared

He will never exist.