Overthinking

I can’t sleep at night.

It’s tearing me apart.

I can’t stop thinking.

I am overthinking

every little thing.

Things I should just forget,

unimportant things,

suddenly consume me.

I’m anxious about

every aspect of life-

school, love life, work, home.

Constantly running but

I just can’t keep up.

Physically I’m behind,

but mentally I’m

so far ahead that I

see it’s all pointless.

Advertisements

Obvious

It’s hard to act like

I have my life together

I obviously don’t.

 

It’s hard to act like

I’m organized and on top of things.

I’m obviously not.

 

It’s hard to act like

My workload isn’t stressing me out.

It obviously is.

 

It’s hard to act like

I’m conquering life.

I’m obviously not.

 

It’s hard to act like

the simplest things don’t cause a breakdown.

They obviously do.

 

It’s hard to act like

things are going to get better.

It’s not so obvious.

Storms To Weather

Knife in the back,

Life is off track

Everything is out of place.

 

Feet off the ground

I’m flailing around,

Falling flat on my face.

 

There’re many storms to weather,

trying to get my life together

but some things left no trace.

 

Decisions to be made

and debts to be paid,

No special treatment in this case.

 

I am on my own,

lost and  alone,

I’m last place in this race.

 

It’ll take hard work and time,

It won’t be an easy climb,

But everything will fall in place.

 

After the Shower

There’s a moment,

after turning off the hot water,

that I notice my surroundings

when it’s just me,

naked and alone.

There’s a moment

that I’m in a state of confusion,

unsure of where I am

when it’s just me,

naked and alone.

There’s  a moment,

where I question everything,

where I feel everything,

when it’s just me,

naked and alone.

There’s a moment

that I try to commit

do I open a door and

feel a rush of new things,

when it’s just me,

naked and alone?

There’s a moment

when I touch the handle,

and I contemplate everything

when it’s just me,

naked and alone.

There’s a moment

when I decide to move forward,

and brace myself for the change

when it’s just me,

naked and alone.

There’s a moment

when I start to realize

even after the shower,

when it’s just me,

naked and alone.

In that moment,

I know nothing changed.

I’m just as vulnerable as before

because it’s just me,

naked and alone.

I am Standing Still

The clock is ticking.

It’s working against me.

I am standing still

but time is moving on.

 

Others walk past me,

achieving their life goals.

I am standing still.

I am going nowhere.

 

The future is near

And I don’t have a plan.

I am standing still.

I am falling behind.

 

Minutes become days.

And the days become weeks.

I am standing still.

Life is passing me by.