Those Words

“You’re such a spoiled brat.

I don’t have time for your petty problems.

I have to take care of myself.”

Those are the words you yelled at me

as I sat in the hall

after you hung up on my friend

who told you I was going to try to kill myself.

Coincidentally,

those are also the words you yelled at me

when I decided that I hated you

because I knew at that point

I could never forgive you.

 

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A Reason

Obviously, there’s a reason

I didn’t kill myself

all those years ago

when I had the chance.

I just wish I knew

what that reason was.

It would make life

a lot simpler now.

I’m so lost.

Why am I here?

No Regrets.

Rain has been sliding down the windowsill all day,

yet not a single tear has found its way down my face.

I’m too numb and too lost to understand what happened.

My biggest dream in life is gone now and so am I.

It turns out that happiness just wasn’t in the cards.

My one and only hope that life would improve someday

has just been thrown out the window and is gone for good.

I’ve been clinging to this hope since I was in high school.

That little thought at times was my only will to live.

Now I just don’t know what I’ll do from here. Maybe die?

I know my soul did today. Now it’s time to catch up.

Nothing to hold me back anymore. I’ve no regrets.