I thought you were done taking things from me
when you stole my virginity 7 years ago.
But yet here we are, all these years later
and you’re still taking things from me:
My happiness
My hopes
My dreams
My soulmate
My chance of having someone love me.
I can’t have any of those things
because you ruined me; damaged me.
And now I’m so broken that
I can never have the one thing all always want.
After 7 years I finally realize
it’s never going to get better for me.
Fuck you.
On days like today,
it would be so easy
to do something as simple
as go for a drive
on the slick, white roads
and maybe go a little
faster than the speed limit
and lose the little control
I have in my life.
On days like today
it would be so easy
to just give in;
to just let go
and give up;
to fall off course
and have an accident…
or what looks like one.
What’s one more mistake?
I keep telling people
I can’t keep doing this.
They tell me that I can,
But they just aren’t listening.
They don’t understand.
They don’t take me seriously.
I’m not joking around.
I literally cannot take any more.
I can’t hold anything else in.
I’m done.
I’m not just on the edge anymore.
I already let go.
I already decided to jump off the bridge
Because nobody told me to stop.
Today isn’t better.
The smallest things upset me.
I think I’ll give up.
I have become so good
At pretending to be happy,
That I can’t tell that it’s fake anymore.
There are times that I can
Actually fool myself to think
That I can forget the truth inside me.
I can show a smile.
I can even share a giggle.
But those can’t fix the void I feel inside.
Inside, I am empty,
A hollow of my former self;
Plenty of room for words to bounce around.
I don’t have a purpose.
I’m not worth anything at all.
I will never be good enough to feel
Like life is worth living.
*so I wrote this poem a good 7 years ago for an eighth grade project( keep that in mind as the rhythm is truly non existent). It was meant to be a comfort poem for my best friend since her grandfather had recently passed. Now, considering the current state of my own grandmother, I find this poem to also be a comfort. I hope other can as well*
I know that you are devoted by his passing on,
But it’s time to start moving on.
Now missing him isn’t wrong,
But you need to move along.
For else, he will never arrive
At the place he looked forward to while alive.
Now this place he hopes to find
Is like no other kind,
It has everything he’ll ever need.
Yes, Heaven is an amazing place indeed.
So in order for him to go,
You must be willing to let go.
I know heart’s aren’t easy to mend,
But that is why I’m here for you, my friend.
I am here to help you through this painful journey
For I have been there and know it isn’t easy.
Now I know it won’t heal over night,
But after awhile, you’ll feel alright.
Baffy Basics 