Sometimes…

Sometimes I wish the words for my poems

could flow as smoothly and as enchanting

as the ones in an Ed Sheeran love song.

Sometimes they do.

Sometimes I get caught in the moment

and find myself swept away in the magic

of the feelings I have and the words I type.

Sometimes I read what I write and think

“This is simply perfect.

I’ve captured a small glimpse perhaps

of what I originally intended,

but yet it’s exactly what I meant.”

Sometimes I take a step back and wonder

if the words are truly my own

because I don’t believe that my

lonely, loveless heart could have

produced words full of such awe.

Sometimes I get excited to share these

words crafted by my soul with the world,

but I always remember I can’t.

So while I may wish to enchant the world

with my own lyrics like Ed,

I’ll have to settle with saving

my soul to my file of drafts

full of other hopes waiting for their time

to shine like the light of a thousand stars…

 

 

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Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

They say “good things come to those who wait”…

but do they?

That’s what I believed for 15 years

because  that’s what I was taught;

that’s what I was preached.

I was told that good things would come

if I waited until I was married

and loved

and cared for.

Good things would come if I was patient;

if I followed the rules;

if I trusted in God.

And I did.

I did everything I was supposed to do.

So where were my good things?

All I got was trauma;

and nightmares.

and the fear no one will ever want or love me now.

I am damaged.

I am broken.

But

I did what I was supposed to do.

I was waiting

but someone else decided I was not,

So I guess I don’t deserve good things.