Adults Need Tantrums Too

I know I am an adult

and I need to be practical

and think of my needs.

not my wants.

I’m a grown-ass woman

and I have to think of others.

But dammit!

Let me have my tantrum!

Let me have a moment.

Let me be selfish for once.

 

I want a relationship.

I want a commitment.

I want romance.

I want goodnight texts.

and “I Love Yous” at

the end of phone calls.

I want sappy Facebook posts

and to stop feeling left out of life.

I want to stop holding myself back

all the goddamn time.

I want to feel like I am valid-

like  I am allowed to have feelings.

I’m tired of pretending I’m fine

when I’m really fucking not.

I needed a moment.

This will do.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

 

 

 

 

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What do I Want

As my undergraduate career comes to a close

in less than three weeks from today,

I’m finding that the amount of people that

are asking me what my plans are for

after I graduate is increasing substantially.

But the truth is that I really don’t have an answer

to satisfy their curious minds because

I truly don’t know what I am going to do.

Believe me: it’s more frustrating than you know.

I would love to have just one simple answer

to give upon request, but the thing is

that is so much harder to achieve than I thought.

There are so many options at my fingertips

that it is hard to pick just one to follow.

I tried on one, and decided I didn’t like it

and now I feel stuck once again.

As the world I know around me rushes to a close,

I find myself lost in the whirlwind with no direction

and it fills me with an anxiety I can’t describe.

People confront me and I don’t know what I want.

Well, I do.

It’s just not…

I don’t know: A possibility? Viable? Realistic?

It adds to my frustration even more.

I know when people ask me what’s next for me

they want information about my upcoming career,

but I guess the truth is that

that’s not what is important to me.

I have other matters of the heart and soul

to take care of first and until those are met

I can’t focus on anything else.

But my time is running out

and so is the money in my bank account.

I know I need to make a decision.

The pressure is on, but will I be a diamond?

Or will I just crumble?

My Christmas Wishlist

I am an adult, but I still want things

but mostly they are for the joy they bring.

To me, it wouldn’t be Christmas without

doing these things to get spirit on route.

-Putting up a tree and decking it out

with candy canes and ornaments, no doubt.

-Baking cookies for those naughty or nice

and those who were willing to brave the ice.

-Driving or walking to see Christmas lights,

has to be one of my favorite highlights.

-Wrapping the presents, taping them just so

(and when I mess up cover with a bow)

-Singing Christmas carols loud enough to hear

sharing tidings, comfort and of course cheer!

-Sitting by the fire with those I love,

there is nothing else I would put above.