The Things You Never Noticed

The things you never noticed about me

during the “8” hours you used to see me

every single day at work:

-I pack the same meal for lunch every day

because that’s what the food bank gave me.

-I also stick around an extra hour after work

so it’s one less hour I have to be home.

-I don’t speak up for myself because

I’m used to punishment if I do.

– I never talk about my home life

because honestly? It isn’t great.

-Yes, I still live at home, you know

because I can’t leave.

Financially? Maybe I could escape

but I’ll never be free of him.

 

 

I don’t blame you for never noticing.

I never wanted to show this part of me

Because at work, I am happy and safe.

I wish it had stayed that way

 

Dear Boss

Dear boss,

I care so much for these kids,

they’re my number one priority.

They’re all our number one priorities.

I worry about them day and night,

as I am sure you do too,

but now that the dust has settled,

I have to ask (and it kills me) but

what about me?

We’re worry about the kids at home

who won’t have enough food

or be guaranteed their meals.

But what about me?

We worry about the kids at home

who need help and support

who just aren’t getting it now.

But what about me?

We worry about the kiddos at home

who have stressful circumstances

that mean success is unlikely,

but what about me?

We worry about the kids at home

who might be abused or unsafe

without trusted adults there.

But what about me?

I am a selfless person

so it pains me to be egocentric,

but we’ve done all these things

to make sure our kiddos are okay,

but what about me?

Because I’m not.

 

Your Employee.

 

 

 

 

The Monsters

When I was a little girl,

I used to be afraid of

the monsters under my bed.

You know, the ones that

only come out when you

are looking in their direction

and have the job of scaring

innocent little children.

I imagined monsters with

poisonous tounges,

dark cold eyes, sometimes

with more than one face.

I imagined monsters

whispering noises

I couldn’t understand

just loud enough to hear,

to remind me they were there.

As time went by and I grew up,

I told myself they weren’t real.

And I believed myself

all these years

until I began to work with them.

 

 

 

I Shouldn’t Rock the Boat

Sometimes I think about the poems

that I really want to post but can’t.

Instead, I save them in a file

on my computer waiting

for the right time

when they will truly be appreciated.

They could be truly amazing,

and highly successful, but…

I have to hold back.

Sometimes making waves in the world

can lead to many good things

but this is just one time where

I shouldn’t rock the boat.

 

Obvious

It’s hard to act like

I have my life together

I obviously don’t.

 

It’s hard to act like

I’m organized and on top of things.

I’m obviously not.

 

It’s hard to act like

My workload isn’t stressing me out.

It obviously is.

 

It’s hard to act like

I’m conquering life.

I’m obviously not.

 

It’s hard to act like

the simplest things don’t cause a breakdown.

They obviously do.

 

It’s hard to act like

things are going to get better.

It’s not so obvious.

Lifeguard Problems

Oh look.

The kids are running

…again.

And that one

Over by the stairs

Seems to think he’s Michael Phelps.

He’s not.

He’s 5 years old

And not a parent in sight.

The boys over there

Have made a new game.

It appears the only rule

is to annoy me.

Fantastic.

The girl over there

Is eating on the pool deck.

Nothing I love more

Than cleaning up soggy teddy grams

Before I can leave.

Oh and “Mr. Phelps” decided

To test the waters.

He can’t touch.

Looks like I’m going in.

Saved his life.

Spend next 10 minutes

Locating mom for paperwork.

She is bitching me out.

For saving her son.

“He can swim,” she says.

Apparently not.

I leave it to the manager.

It’s time for my break.

A girl just puked.

In the pool.

Now I’m cleaning.

This is gross.

This is terrible.

Is it August yet?