I thought no one liked me
because I always seemed depressed
so I began to act more positive!
…nope. People just don’t like me
A Battle in the Mirror
I am kinder than most. Lots of people are kind, You are not special.
I am Positive.
yeah. Positively worthless.
I am optimistic.
Why? What’s good in your life?
I am supportive.
You can help everyone but yourself. Ironic.
I am compassionate.
Too bad no one wants you to love them
I am caring.
Nobody needs you to care about them.
I am helpful.
Not really. You just mess things up.
I am friendly.
Too friendly. No one wants you around.
I am different.
Is that supposed to be a good thing.
I am independent.
That’s the same thing as lonely right?
I am trying?
Why bother? Just give up.It’ll never be enough.
A Million Dollars
You make me feel like a million dollars,
far more than I deserve.
You made me find my worth,
I am valuable.
But no one can afford me but you.
And what’s a million dollars to someone worth billions?
I’ll never be enough to come close
to all that you deserve.
Me Vs. You
I look at you and I see everything.
A beginning, a middle;
something that I don’t want to end.
I look at you and I see a future;
that dreams and goals can be attained;
a life worth living.
I look at you and I see joy.
A heart that keeps on giving,
a smile that fills my soul with light.
I look at you and I see hope,
desire, ambition, friendship,
amongst other reasons to keep going.
I look at you you and I see a reason-
A reason to want to experience
everything wonderful life could offer.
I look at you and I see potential;
Maybe, just maybe, a dark world
could be filled with joys I can barely dream of now.
I look at you and I see a path
through the struggles and obstacles
that could lead me into redemption.
You look at me and you see me.
Nothing could ever break my heart more
than knowing I am not those things for you.
Busy, Downtown Street
I find myself standing
on a busy, downtown street.
As the crowd bustles on,
I can only shuffle my feet.
I feel so small
surrounded by the towers.
The everyday noise
my senses, it overpowers
I know I must do what I can
to make myself heard
even if I only have energy
for just one single word.
I take a deep breath
and gather my strength
to give it some volume
and meaningful length.
I scream it from
the top of my lungs,
loud enough to shake
nearby ladder rungs.
Only no one heard me
and my final cry’
for at the same exact moment
a large truck drove by.
I know it’s no ones fault,
the timing was poor;
but I have no ability
to try once more.
So I’m destined to be
yet another lost soul
Who’s cries for help
were mistaken for lull.
I find myself standing
on an busy downtown street.
As the crowd bustles on, ‘
I can only shuffle my feet.
Survived?
What is the point of me surviving
if you are going to treat me like I died.
I want to cherish each hard earned moment,
you turn off your phones and pretend to hide.
Exhibit
The animal walks around it’s home
in view of everyone.
Everyone comes to gawk and stare.
They feel safe by the glass,
and are joyous as it moves about.
But when the animal gets too close
to the edge of it’s exhibit
everyone takes a step back,
They think the animal is dangerous.
But it’s not going to hurt them.
I’m not going to hurt them.
I can’t hurt them anymore.
But yet I am still an exhibit
Better not get too close.
Died
I had the coronavirus.
I could have fucking died.
But I didn’t. I survived.
Just for everyone to
ignore me and
to treat me like I did.
Isolation
What they tell you when you have coronoavirus
is that you must isolate for 10 days.
What they don’t tell you when you have coronavirus
is that everyone else will leave you in isolation
long after you recover.
Had
What I think:
I had the virus.
I could have died.
What they think:
You had the virus.
You could still make me die.
