Do you ever feel bad
for the crust of the earth
for having to hold up all the weight
that comes from human kinds
continuous bad choices?
the weight of the world is
literally on it’s shoulders.
It is What it is
I’m not sure when the saying
“It is what it is”
when from a phrase to
my personal manta,
but it is what it is.
Strive
I strive to have the confidence
of the guys next door
who shoot off fireworks
every single night
knowing the world,
including myself,
despises their existence.
Inside Jokes
I never thought I’d be the type of person
to laugh at inside jokes in a public setting
by people who definitely think I’m crazy,
yet here I am, laughing at a table
in some random woman’s garage
because of a little toy dog.
We Roses Have Thorns
my middle name is Rose.
How suiting since
like a rose
I have thorns
that keep people
from picking me.
Ray of Sunshine
Sometimes I like to believe
that I am a ray of sunshine,
trying to bring light and joy
to a world that desperately needs it.
Sometimes my shine gets blocked
by a pesky little cloud
or even a dark, earth-shaking storm
but it is important to remember
that through it all,
I am still trying to shine through it.
Sometimes I have to remind myself of that too.
Cold and Bitter
Summer rays of light
brown my pale skin
that has been hidden inside
for 3 long months
as I hide from dangers
that were out of my control.
As I lay in the damp grass,
using my mind to persuade
spiders to not crawl across
my oily, burning legs,
I can’t help but wonder
which side to lay on
to let the sun’s heat
to warm up my soul
because I’m afraid
too much pain
has made me cold and bitter.
I’m afraid that combo
is only desirable
in a Starbucks
freshly iced coffee,
not in a soulmate,
Tinder
I can spend hours each day
looking at hundreds of faces,
swiping yes or no,
hoping one of them will give
me the life I desperately want.
But I think both you and I know
that won’t happen because
the one face I want and need
will never be there.
A Rock in Your Shoe
When walking along a path,
you may find a rock in your shoe.
It may cause you pain over and over,
until you give in and ignore it
or take your show off and remove the rock.
When choosing to remove the rock,
one must be careful to not pick up
something to cause more sharp pain
like a piece of glass when you
dip your toes back in your shoe.
You may think you were making
your situation better by not allowing
yourself to be burdened by repeated pain
when actually you are opening up
to deeper, intense pain like me.
Don’t be a fool like me.
Safety Blanket
What was your safety blanket as a child?
Mine had Noah’s ark and ruffles on the edges.
Or maybe it was a toy that made you feel
secure and melted your troubles away.
As you grew up, what did you turn to
to get that same feeling of safety?
What makes you feel secure and loved?
I haven’t had a safety blanket in about 15 years,
Those ideas of security and safety are just concepts
that I can’t grasp my insecure head around.
I crave those feelings but most days it’s like
I’m grasping at straws hidden in a foggy haze.
I long to find that one thing that brings my innocence back
since it always finds ways to be taken from me.
So I ask again, what makes you feel safe and secure?
Or am I destined for a life on the edge of uncertainty?
