I am a car,
just trying to get
from point a
to point b
on slick, snow
covered roads.
I’m just trying
to get a grip
and keep control
of my life
but I am
slipping and
sliding downhill
faster and faster.
I know that
pretty soon here
I am going to crash
and it is not
going to be pretty.
It’s going to
cost me far more
than a stupid mailbox.
I am putting
everything I’ve got
into getting to
my destination,
but my gut tells me
that I’ll never make
it there alive
After a twelve hour drive
I could truly feel
every mile between us.
Leaving was already hard,
but feeling myself get
further and further from you
hurt more than I ever
thought it would; thought it could.
700 miles doesn’t feel that far
until you actually travel it
and have to race away
putting every mile between us.
Before my trip,
the distance was but nothing
but now 700 miles feels
impossibly far away.
And far as it feels,
at least distance is measurable.
The real pain comes from
how far into time it will be
until I see you again.
Because that is something
that I just don’t know.
I did not expect to feel so empty
when you left my life.
You were but only a moment
but bring me so much strife.
I would have given you the world.
I wish I could have done more.
You and I didn’t stand a chance.
My heart will forever be sore.
I wanted to write a poem
that expressed the reason why I love you,
but that is harder said than done.
For I have many reasons to love you
and simply could not settle for just one.
But I will tell you that you are
my reason why
I am still alive.
Even on my darkest days,
when I had no other reason
to want to carry on,
you were always on my mind
and gave me hope to hold on.
Darkness is void of all colors.
It consumes everything around it.
Where you see nothing, you hear nothing.
You can only focus on the bleak emptiness-
That is until someone adds a little color to it.
One little Christmas light may not
be the thing that brightens the word,
but with a whole string,
a whole house,
a whole yard full,
the world seems a lot more promising.
So it is with you.
My world was dark until you added to it-
a whole lot of smiles
a whole lot of laughter
a whole day with you.
You filled my darkness with light
and the world seems a lot more promising.
I find myself standing
on a busy, downtown street.
As the crowd bustles on,
I can only shuffle my feet.
I feel so small
surrounded by the towers.
The everyday noise
my senses, it overpowers
I know I must do what I can
to make myself heard
even if I only have energy
for just one single word.
I take a deep breath
and gather my strength
to give it some volume
and meaningful length.
I scream it from
the top of my lungs,
loud enough to shake
nearby ladder rungs.
Only no one heard me
and my final cry’
for at the same exact moment
a large truck drove by.
I know it’s no ones fault,
the timing was poor;
but I have no ability
to try once more.
So I’m destined to be
yet another lost soul
Who’s cries for help
were mistaken for lull.
I find myself standing
on an busy downtown street.
As the crowd bustles on, ‘
I can only shuffle my feet.
I can spend hours each day
looking at hundreds of faces,
swiping yes or no,
hoping one of them will give
me the life I desperately want.
But I think both you and I know
that won’t happen because
the one face I want and need
will never be there.
When walking along a path,
you may find a rock in your shoe.
It may cause you pain over and over,
until you give in and ignore it
or take your show off and remove the rock.
When choosing to remove the rock,
one must be careful to not pick up
something to cause more sharp pain
like a piece of glass when you
dip your toes back in your shoe.
You may think you were making
your situation better by not allowing
yourself to be burdened by repeated pain
when actually you are opening up
to deeper, intense pain like me.
Don’t be a fool like me.
What was your safety blanket as a child?
Mine had Noah’s ark and ruffles on the edges.
Or maybe it was a toy that made you feel
secure and melted your troubles away.
As you grew up, what did you turn to
to get that same feeling of safety?
What makes you feel secure and loved?
I haven’t had a safety blanket in about 15 years,
Those ideas of security and safety are just concepts
that I can’t grasp my insecure head around.
I crave those feelings but most days it’s like
I’m grasping at straws hidden in a foggy haze.
I long to find that one thing that brings my innocence back
since it always finds ways to be taken from me.
So I ask again, what makes you feel safe and secure?
Or am I destined for a life on the edge of uncertainty?
Look in the mirror
and what do I see?
All the reasons
no one will ever
want to love me.
My chin is round.
My face is lumpy.
My fat rolls make
me far to bumpy.
My lips are chap.
My teeth are not straight.
Is it really a wonder
I’ll never find a date?
My image is too wide.
My arms have fat that flaps.
I waddle, not walk,
each step my thigh claps.
My stomach is attrocious.
My legs have no appeal.
I’m going to die alone.
I’m only being real.
Baffy Basics 