Coffee Mug

What I would not give to be

your coffee mug right now;

to have your lips part in

preparation and in

the long-awaited anticipation

of connecting with me.

How jealous I am that

a stained, ceramic mug

washed and used daily

over and over at this

quiet little diner

knows the intimacy

and the feel of your lips,

which I have yet to taste.


Somewhere Nearby

It used to be that when I saw snow

I’d be annoyed by the thought

of the slush and having to dig

my car out from heaps and piles.

But now when I see it,

I always know that somewhere

nearby you are seeing the snow

and that is causing you smiles,

and that is enough for me.

I’m Dreaming of a Christmas

I’m dreaming of a Christmas

Hopefully not too far into the distant future

The last batch of cookies is out from the oven.

Filling the air with cinnamon and sugar delights

Jazzy Christmas music is playing over the radio

adding warmth and joy to my home.

He starts a fire in our new fireplace

that reflects off our stockings hung with care

next to each others for the first time.

The last of the gifts have been wrapped

and placed under the tree covered

in ornaments from our lives past and present.

I sit down on the couch beside him

with my favorite glass of wine in hand

and sigh with relief that I finally made it.

This is the life I always dreamed of.

Christmas at last with the one I love.

Maybe someday…

The Things You Never Noticed

The things you never noticed about me

during the “8” hours you used to see me

every single day at work:

-I pack the same meal for lunch every day

because that’s what the food bank gave me.

-I also stick around an extra hour after work

so it’s one less hour I have to be home.

-I don’t speak up for myself because

I’m used to punishment if I do.

– I never talk about my home life

because honestly? It isn’t great.

-Yes, I still live at home, you know

because I can’t leave.

Financially? Maybe I could escape

but I’ll never be free of him.



I don’t blame you for never noticing.

I never wanted to show this part of me

Because at work, I am happy and safe.

I wish it had stayed that way


Dear Boss

Dear boss,

I care so much for these kids,

they’re my number one priority.

They’re all our number one priorities.

I worry about them day and night,

as I am sure you do too,

but now that the dust has settled,

I have to ask (and it kills me) but

what about me?

We’re worry about the kids at home

who won’t have enough food

or be guaranteed their meals.

But what about me?

We worry about the kids at home

who need help and support

who just aren’t getting it now.

But what about me?

We worry about the kiddos at home

who have stressful circumstances

that mean success is unlikely,

but what about me?

We worry about the kids at home

who might be abused or unsafe

without trusted adults there.

But what about me?

I am a selfless person

so it pains me to be egocentric,

but we’ve done all these things

to make sure our kiddos are okay,

but what about me?

Because I’m not.


Your Employee.





Isn’t It Funny?

Isn’t it funny how

concerned you are now that

if I go to the store,

I could catch an illness

and die,

but yet

where was this concern when

an illness was inside me

making me want to die

the last nine fucking years?

What I Needed

I needed you

on that cold January day

when I met to get my fix.


I needed you

when you denied me

and left me in the dirt.


I needed you

as my eyes froze

shut with tears.


I needed you

as my hand clutched

the pill bottle in my pocket.


I needed you

to keep me from myself

ending my life.


I needed you

and you left me there

to pick my own self up.


I needed you

but I don’t now,

That was 7 long years ago.


I don’t need you anymore.