Not My Job

I am suffocating in your guilt.

I didn’t get you into this mess.

I didn’t cause this to happen,

but yet I’m stuck dealing

with your consequences.

It’s not my job to be your pity party.

It’s not my job to make you feel better.

It’s not my job to make you less lonely.

Stop making it sound like it is.

I have a real job

with actual responsibilities.

I don’t have the time

or energy really to

deal with your constant guilt trips.

I’ll tell you what I tell the kids:

I don’t do tears,

Man up and get your shit together.

Stop suffocating me with YOUR problems.

I have enough of my own.

 

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Google” What are the Signs and Symptoms of a Soulmate?”

Wouldn’t it be nice if WebMD

could diagnose a condition called

falling in love?

Imagine doing a Google search

for “signs and symptoms

for having a soulmate”

likes it’s some disease or infection

that could be easily distinguished.

What kinds of things would be on this list?

Raging hormones? Increased laughter?

Pain in facial muscles from smiling so much?

Increased sweating? Risk of pregnancy?

Who is to say how to tell if someone

is the one you are meant to spend your life with?

Personally, I’d be more intersted in a

possible treatment option plan

because advice on how to proceed

when you’re pretty sure you’ve got

could probably come in handy.

A “talk to your doctor” would

not do a whole lot of good.

I wish this had a few great

home remedies.

Sorry mom, but I don’t think

ginger ale will be fixing this one.

 

 

 

What do I Want

As my undergraduate career comes to a close

in less than three weeks from today,

I’m finding that the amount of people that

are asking me what my plans are for

after I graduate is increasing substantially.

But the truth is that I really don’t have an answer

to satisfy their curious minds because

I truly don’t know what I am going to do.

Believe me: it’s more frustrating than you know.

I would love to have just one simple answer

to give upon request, but the thing is

that is so much harder to achieve than I thought.

There are so many options at my fingertips

that it is hard to pick just one to follow.

I tried on one, and decided I didn’t like it

and now I feel stuck once again.

As the world I know around me rushes to a close,

I find myself lost in the whirlwind with no direction

and it fills me with an anxiety I can’t describe.

People confront me and I don’t know what I want.

Well, I do.

It’s just not…

I don’t know: A possibility? Viable? Realistic?

It adds to my frustration even more.

I know when people ask me what’s next for me

they want information about my upcoming career,

but I guess the truth is that

that’s not what is important to me.

I have other matters of the heart and soul

to take care of first and until those are met

I can’t focus on anything else.

But my time is running out

and so is the money in my bank account.

I know I need to make a decision.

The pressure is on, but will I be a diamond?

Or will I just crumble?

The Last Time

I can’t recall the last time someone looked at me

and told me what they like about me.

I can’t remember the last time someone gave me

an ounce of hope that maybe I am pretty.

I can’t distinguish in my mind the last time someone

made me feel good about myself…

but I can sure as hell give you a list

of all the times someone told me the opposite

Dangerous to Dream

It is dangerous to dream

bigger than the moment

you are already living.

It may be easy to dream

of long white curtains

billowing in a warm breeze

or a four-poster bed with

soft pink petals scattered

across bright, white sheets

that are as fresh and as pure as you;

maybe later you’ll be tangled in them

as you watch the sunset

over the ocean out your window

with the love of your life

shortly after you dedicated

your lives to be spent with each other.

Seems simple enough of a dream,

But that can be ripped from you

long before you ever get close

to touching that dream.

So dream simply of small things

like your first margarita

because the odds of someone

shoving that down your throat

against your will

is a lot less likely than other things…

take it from me.

The Left Behind

It’s much easier to do the leaving

than to be the left behind.

While you are all off to do

all new things

in all new places

with all new people,

I’m left with the same life

I’ve lived for many years before

except it’s different now

because you’re not here

to experience it with me.

Not a lot of exciting things happen to me

that you haven’t heard of lived before

but I get to hear all your exciting

stories from around the country

and realize how stuck I really am.

I’m glad my friends get to go on

such exciting adventures, I am.

But sometimes they don’t realize

that in the wake of their new experiences

I am left behind with no one

to do something as simple as

get a coffee with

because my closest best friend

is at now four hours away

and that makes life very lonely.