Look in the mirror
and what do I see?
All the reasons
no one will ever
want to love me.
My chin is round.
My face is lumpy.
My fat rolls make
me far to bumpy.
My lips are chap.
My teeth are not straight.
Is it really a wonder
I’ll never find a date?
My image is too wide.
My arms have fat that flaps.
I waddle, not walk,
each step my thigh claps.
My stomach is attrocious.
My legs have no appeal.
I’m going to die alone.
I’m only being real.
I wonder what all the coupled up people
do with all that time that they
don’t have to waste spending on”
wondering if they’ll die alone.
I wonder what I would do
with all that time
I waste
wondering if I’ll die alone.
Why aren’t I enough?
Is it because I don’t smile enough?
Is it because I have a weird laugh?
IS it because I haven’t shown
that I am loyal enough?
Is it because I have a face
too ugly for a mother to love?
Or is it because I’m fat
and not beautiful enough
to ever be worth a dime?
Is it because I am worthless?
Is it because I get too drunk?
Is it because deep down
you know what I know
that I’ll never be enough?
The things you never noticed about me
during the “8” hours you used to see me
every single day at work:
-I pack the same meal for lunch every day
because that’s what the food bank gave me.
-I also stick around an extra hour after work
so it’s one less hour I have to be home.
-I don’t speak up for myself because
I’m used to punishment if I do.
– I never talk about my home life
because honestly? It isn’t great.
-Yes, I still live at home, you know
because I can’t leave.
Financially? Maybe I could escape
but I’ll never be free of him.
I don’t blame you for never noticing.
I never wanted to show this part of me
Because at work, I am happy and safe.
I wish it had stayed that way
–
–
Dear boss,
I care so much for these kids,
they’re my number one priority.
They’re all our number one priorities.
I worry about them day and night,
as I am sure you do too,
but now that the dust has settled,
I have to ask (and it kills me) but
what about me?
We’re worry about the kids at home
who won’t have enough food
or be guaranteed their meals.
But what about me?
We worry about the kids at home
who need help and support
who just aren’t getting it now.
But what about me?
We worry about the kiddos at home
who have stressful circumstances
that mean success is unlikely,
but what about me?
We worry about the kids at home
who might be abused or unsafe
without trusted adults there.
But what about me?
I am a selfless person
so it pains me to be egocentric,
but we’ve done all these things
to make sure our kiddos are okay,
but what about me?
Because I’m not.
Your Employee.
Wine is the best boyfriend.
It’s always there for you.
It puts a smile on your face.
It gets you all giddy.
It gives you a warm tingle.
It makes you laugh.
It’s supportive.
It wants to kiss your lips.
Has the ability to turn you on.
It can be sweet sometimes.
Always there for special occasions.
It will never leave you.
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk
A new drinking game:
you pour one glass of wine for
every foot apart!
Baffy Basics 