Just take it.
Take my hand.
It’s right there
just waiting for you.
What’s the harm?
You’ve already taken
over my whole life.
You might as well
take my hand too.
Just take it.
Take my hand.
It’s right there
just waiting for you.
What’s the harm?
You’ve already taken
over my whole life.
You might as well
take my hand too.
I can’t recall the last time someone looked at me
and told me what they like about me.
I can’t remember the last time someone gave me
an ounce of hope that maybe I am pretty.
I can’t distinguish in my mind the last time someone
made me feel good about myself…
but I can sure as hell give you a list
of all the times someone told me the opposite
I wish I was someone worth loving.
I wish I had goals and ambition
and a desire for a career
like women of this society are
expected to want to want these days,
but I don’t.
I wish I looked the way that
boy want me to look
so that I could be someone worth loving,
that I could be thin with big boobs
and a natural blonde with a pleasing face,
but I’m not.
I wish I had something to offer the world
so that I could be someone worth loving;
maybe a skill or talent,
or even money to give the less fortunate,
or time or influence or anything really,\
but I don’t.
I wish I could be someone worth loving
so that maybe I could stop hating myself.
I’m sorry for always falling short.
I’m sorry for the disappointment I cause.
I’m sorry for taking up time.
I’m sorry for being a problem.
I’m sorry for being less than what you deserve.
I’m sorry for not being what you want.
I’m sorry for being ugly.
I’m sorry for being fat.
I’m sorry for not being good enough.
I’m sorry for being me
and I promise that I’ll stop.
If the main goal of living
is to follow your dreams,
then why am I still here?
My dreams will never come true
and hanging around is really
only torturing myself by thinking
about the what-ifs when
there was never even a what.
There are so many things I want to say,
but I can’t,
but I won’t,
but I want to.
I have questions I need to ask
but I can’t,
but I won’t,
but I want to.
I need to get my answers
but I can’t,
but I won’t,
but I want to.
I want to stop holding back,
but I can’t,
but I won’t,
but I want to.
I wish I could stop biting my tongue,
but I can’t,
but I won’t,
but I want to.
I want to end each call with I love you,
but I can’t,
but I won’t
but I want to.
I want to tell you how I feel,
but I can’t,
but I won’t
but I want to.
I want you to admit how you feel
but you can’t,
but you won’t,
but I want you to.
Hearing “you are enough”
is far more comforting than
“you’ll be fine” ever is.
I’m green with envy
of people that are
effortlessly happy.
I’m green with envy
of that end phone calls
with “I love you”s.
I’m green with envy
of people who have
realistic dreams.
I’m green with envy
of those who live
their dream every day.
I think I’m more likely
to have my troubles dissappear
by finding the bottom of a bridge
than at the bottom of the rainbow.
They say at the bottom of the rainbow
there is a pot of gold
but I am at the bottom
and I promise you there is no gold here.
Just disappointment and broken dreams
which you can find anywhere really.
So why unstick yourself from the pillows
you’ve been crying into for three hours?
Save yourself from searching
for the happiness you hope is out there
at the bottom of some rainbow for you
because there is not.
It’s just much the same
so just protect yourself
from getting your hopes up.
There’s nothing out there
worth living for.