1,000 Followers

Today I made it to 1,000 followers and I wouldn’t have been able to do it without each and every one of you.  Thank you for helping me get to where I am today! You guys and gals rock!

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Tell Me

Don’t tell me I’m beautiful.

Every girl is beautiful to someone.

I want you to tell me that I am special.

Tell me I am extraordinary.

Tell me I am unique.

Tell me I wonderous.

Tell me I am remarkable.

Tell me I’m a treasure.

Tell me I am something else.

I am not basic,

So don’t compliment me like I am.

Tell me that I am special to you.

Tell me I am special.

 

The World Moves On

Sometimes I watch as the world moves on

while I am standing perfectly still.

I am hidden underneath blankets,

trying to feel smaller than I am.

In moments like these, I can see that

when I am trying to disappear

and forgotten from the world, I am.

The world doesn’t need me or miss me.

The world goes on with or without me.

Would it really be that bad if I

just disappeared? I’m not needed here.

If I was, the world would notice.

The world would care that I’m at my end,

But the world doesn’t. It will go on.

I will be forgotten when I die.

My impact is so minuscule that

after the blink of an eye, my death

will be a tally added to the

billions who faded out before me.

You don’t think about any of them,

nor will you think about me in  time

because the world moves on without me

 

 

 

Just Yesterday

Just yesterday I was dreaming.

I pictured us 12 years from now

at our son’s 5th birthday party.

His older sister was playing

soccer with their friends,

running around our pool.

Family members were arriving,

they could see our happiness.

They commented on my glow

when I said there’d be one more.

In that future, I was happy.

I had something to live for,

to look forward to someday.

But today, I know I don’t.

When I think of my future,

I see nothing but darkness.

I see you won’t be there

to be the light of my world.

I don’t have a future anymore.

I don’t have hopes and dreams.

I have a death wish instead

because a life without you

isn’t a life I want to live.

 

Consumed

Well, it happened. It has finally won.

The darkness that I have worked

so hard to fend off over the years

has finally consumed me.

All the smiles you gave me

that shone a light to frighten them off

are now ancient history.

I know there will never be another

time a look from you will make me happy

because I know.

I know that you don’t think I’m special

and that I’m not good enough.

I may go through the same motions as her

but you will never love me.

That thought has forever darkened my soul

and I am just a hollow shell

that the darkness has filled.

I won’t bother struggling anymore

since I know there isn’t a happy ending

waiting for me on the other side anymore.

It has won and I’ll never be the same.

 

Past Present Future

If I’m already your past and present

wouldn’t it make sense that I’m your future?

Our lives are already entwined together

so let’s make the jump; let’s add a suture.

You can go to the bar and sit around

but I can without a doubt guarantee

no matter how long you sit, you won’t find

a girl that knows you at all like me.

You won’t find a girl  that can say that she

supported your dreams from the very start.

She’ll see who you are, but won’t see how you

got there; won’t see how you followed your heart.

You may find someone that you want to try

to build your future with but let’s be real:

the future you want needs a strong foundation,

and we already have one made of steel.

When you are  ready to stop playing games

you’ll come around and be able to see

when it comes to past, present, and future

It could only be referring to me.