Today I made it to 1,000 followers and I wouldn’t have been able to do it without each and every one of you. Thank you for helping me get to where I am today! You guys and gals rock!
Tell Me
Don’t tell me I’m beautiful.
Every girl is beautiful to someone.
I want you to tell me that I am special.
Tell me I am extraordinary.
Tell me I am unique.
Tell me I wonderous.
Tell me I am remarkable.
Tell me I’m a treasure.
Tell me I am something else.
I am not basic,
So don’t compliment me like I am.
Tell me that I am special to you.
Tell me I am special.
The World Moves On
Sometimes I watch as the world moves on
while I am standing perfectly still.
I am hidden underneath blankets,
trying to feel smaller than I am.
In moments like these, I can see that
when I am trying to disappear
and forgotten from the world, I am.
The world doesn’t need me or miss me.
The world goes on with or without me.
Would it really be that bad if I
just disappeared? I’m not needed here.
If I was, the world would notice.
The world would care that I’m at my end,
But the world doesn’t. It will go on.
I will be forgotten when I die.
My impact is so minuscule that
after the blink of an eye, my death
will be a tally added to the
billions who faded out before me.
You don’t think about any of them,
nor will you think about me in time
because the world moves on without me
Just Yesterday
Just yesterday I was dreaming.
I pictured us 12 years from now
at our son’s 5th birthday party.
His older sister was playing
soccer with their friends,
running around our pool.
Family members were arriving,
they could see our happiness.
They commented on my glow
when I said there’d be one more.
In that future, I was happy.
I had something to live for,
to look forward to someday.
But today, I know I don’t.
When I think of my future,
I see nothing but darkness.
I see you won’t be there
to be the light of my world.
I don’t have a future anymore.
I don’t have hopes and dreams.
I have a death wish instead
because a life without you
isn’t a life I want to live.
Consumed
Well, it happened. It has finally won.
The darkness that I have worked
so hard to fend off over the years
has finally consumed me.
All the smiles you gave me
that shone a light to frighten them off
are now ancient history.
I know there will never be another
time a look from you will make me happy
because I know.
I know that you don’t think I’m special
and that I’m not good enough.
I may go through the same motions as her
but you will never love me.
That thought has forever darkened my soul
and I am just a hollow shell
that the darkness has filled.
I won’t bother struggling anymore
since I know there isn’t a happy ending
waiting for me on the other side anymore.
It has won and I’ll never be the same.
Ironic
Sometimes I wish I could just disappear,
be erased from the minds of the ones I love
even though they don’t love me.
Because as much as I want to suddenly die
I worry about hurting them which ironic
considering how much they hurt me.
The Way I Used to Be
The way I used to be
was full of life,
full of love,
full of hope.
The way I used to be
was optimistic,
outgoing,
unstoppable.
The way I used to be
is gone,
destroyed,
abandoned.
You did this to me.
Past Present Future
If I’m already your past and present
wouldn’t it make sense that I’m your future?
Our lives are already entwined together
so let’s make the jump; let’s add a suture.
You can go to the bar and sit around
but I can without a doubt guarantee
no matter how long you sit, you won’t find
a girl that knows you at all like me.
You won’t find a girl that can say that she
supported your dreams from the very start.
She’ll see who you are, but won’t see how you
got there; won’t see how you followed your heart.
You may find someone that you want to try
to build your future with but let’s be real:
the future you want needs a strong foundation,
and we already have one made of steel.
When you are ready to stop playing games
you’ll come around and be able to see
when it comes to past, present, and future
It could only be referring to me.
Baffy Basics 