I hate that I can workout everyday,
literally until I’d collapse if I worked any more
and yet I cannot be skinny.
I hate that I can eat all the right things
or consume just enough calories a day to survive
and yet I cannot be skinny.
I hate that I can workout everyday,
literally until I’d collapse if I worked any more
and yet I cannot be skinny.
I hate that I can eat all the right things
or consume just enough calories a day to survive
and yet I cannot be skinny.
I wish I was pretty
I wish I was thinner.
I wish I had the body that boys go for.
I wish I didn’t have stretch marks.
I wish for a flat tummy.
I wish I didn’t hate myself when I look in a mirror.
I wish for a boyfriend.
I wish for someone to love me.
I wish I’d stop getting hurt.
Maybe living on
my own would be easier
if I could cook things.
“If you could have one thing
in the whole wide world,
what would it be?
Some people will say wealth.
Some people might say happiness.
Some others might say love,
while others want their dreams.
But for me, if I could
have one thing out of the
billions of choices at hand,
I would choose you because
then I could have it all.
My dreams would come true.
I could finally feel love
and experience happiness
that would make me feel
like the wealthiest girl
to ever exist.
But I can’t have you.
It’s just a silly game
and a stupid question.
I can’t have what I want
most of all because
you’d have to want me too.
This place is not a home.
It’s a war zone. It’s hell.
It’s full of people on edge,
people walking on eggshells
trying to avoid another fight,
but someone always cracks
because how can you not be angry?
This place is unhealthy.
This place is not a home.
This place is not a home.
This place is emotionally abusive.
You can’t share your feelings
or your true thoughts because
the tyrant will scream at you
until to submit to his way
and are terrorized into giving up.
The “man” of the house
is not a man at all
but a dictator who admitted
just last week in fact
that nothing gets done around here
unless he intimidates us
and that’s just how he likes it.
This place is run by a bully.
This place is not a home.
This place is not a home,
it’s barely a step above a dump.
Bathrooms are falling apart.
floors are rotting through
and tiles are shattered.
Carpets are permentaly stained
and in desperate need of a vacuum.
There hasn’t been a working light
in the kitchen in the better part
of half a decade, maybe more.
Things are broken, but not replaced.
Just put off until it becomes an “issue”,
whatever that’s supposed to mean.
Junk is piled up everywhere
that we’re expected to just live around.
There are paths but no space.
This is not a living space.
This place is not a home.
In the end, a couple has two options:
they either break up or they get married.
When I look for a relationship,
I firmly believe it will end in the latter,
until they give me a reason not to.
I’m not one to run. I hate exercise.
So if I’m chasing someone it’s for good cause.
It’s because I can clearly see the future
and it’s better because they’re in it.
I’m not one to let go of a good thing
or throw away gold in the trash.
I’m not here to be wasteful.
I’m not here for fun and games.
Life is serious and a challenge. So am I.
I want someone by my side to help face it
because any good puzzle requires
both time and commitment to solve.
Relationships are puzzles people face.
They take lifetimes to solve.
They get easier when you have
more pieces to put in place.
So why give up before you’ve even started?
Why break up a puzzle when
you can see the image at the end?
You’ll never get there.
I want the latter.
I want to solve the puzzle.
I want commitment.
I’m not here to play games.
I want to make a plan,
make a future for myself.
If you want a part of it,
then do something.
I’ll gladly make additions.
That part is easy.
it removing someone
over and over that’s hard.
That’s not reliable.
I need people to count on,
a sturdy foundation.
I need commitment.
You’re either in or out.
Which is it?